Coping During the Holidays

For many people, the holiday season brings a mix of emotions. Alongside joy and excitement, there can be increased stress, family tension, and emotional overwhelm. Navigating all of this can feel exhausting. That’s why we often think of the holidays as the season for DBT and RO-DBT skills. Below are several strategies that can help you manage stress and care for your emotional well-being during this time.

1. Mindfulness: Staying in the Present Moment

Holiday gatherings often pull us into the past (“This always happens”) or the future (“This is going to end badly”). Mindfulness skills help ground you in what is happening right now, reducing emotional escalation.

Helpful practices include observing emotions without judgment, describing what you notice internally and externally, and/or returning your attention to breath or sensory input during tense moments (e.g., what can yousee, hear, smell, taste, and touch?)

2. Distress Tolerance: Getting Through Without Making Things Worse

When emotional intensity spikes, distress tolerance skills help you survive the moment without reacting in ways you’ll regret later. Examples include taking a brief break or stepping outside, using temperature, movement, or deep breathing to calm the nervous system, or reminding yourself: "This is uncomfortable, but temporary."

3. Emotion Regulation: Reducing Vulnerability

Holiday stress is worse when we’re already depleted. DBT emphasizes proactive care such as prioritizing sleep, nutrition, and movement, limiting alcohol or substances that intensify emotions, and scheduling pleasant activities, even during busy weeks.

4. Openness: Letting Go of “Shoulds”

We can aim to approach experiences with curiosity rather than rigid rules. During the holidays, this might mean letting go of perfectionistic or rigid expectations, being open to doing things differently than "how it's always been," or noticing when "I should" or "they should" thoughts are driving stress.

5. Flexible Boundaries Instead of Emotional Withdrawal

If you are prone to emotionally shutting down, consider identifying flexible boundaries like staying socially engaged without overexposing or disappearing. This can look like shortening visits rather than skipping them entirely, using humor or warmth to signal openness, softening your tone when setting limits, or acknowledging another person's perspective without agreeing.

If the holidays bring up grief, loneliness, anger, or exhaustion, you are not alone. The skills mentioned can offer tools, not to eliminate emotions, but to help you move through them with greater resilience and flexibility.

The information shared in this blog post is intended for general educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health care. Coping skills and strategies can look different for each person, and what works well for one individual may not be appropriate for another. We encourage you to consult with your therapist, medical provider, or treatment team before implementing new skills or making changes to your coping plan. Your provider can help you determine which approaches are best suited to your specific needs and circumstances